Emotional Harmony: Healing the Mother-Daughter Relationship

Mother-Daughter Relationships: Ideal vs. Reality

Our culture idealizes the image of a mother—and rightfully so. In reality, mother-daughter relationships for many...differ from the popular ideal. Far from perfect, and often they are complicated. Healing is what many of us need.

I turned 66 in January. Just a few days ago my mother turned 86. In these later years, a daughter wants to learn as much as she can about her mother’s younger years. I want to talk about my childhood. Mom never does.

My mom, in her sixties, became quite religious. For years ever since, I’ve heard a lot about her pilgrimages to various churches, temples, and holy places where she needed to “confess her sins.” Those 'sins,' I suspected, centered on something she did (or didn’t do) during my infancy and younger years, which led to dramatic events that damaged my hips and precipitated the many surgeries that followed.

I don't know exactly what the sequence of events was, back in those earliest years. But my orthopedist, who did my hip replacement surgeries, dropped a hint. In all his years of practice, he said, looking at my x-rays, he’d never seen a more messed up set of hip joints. It could only be…and then he said two words that stunned me: criminal negligence.

The “something” she did or didn’t do remains mysterious. My mom won’t tell me what it was. Her mantra has always been: Forgive me, but I’ll not tell you for what... As a result, Mom continues to bear this terrible guilt to this day.

I don’t know how to convince my mom I don't blame her for any of her 'sins.' More accurately, I don't know how to make her hear that it all was meant to be and that good things do come from bad events.

My life has been tailored specifically for me, presenting me with precisely the tools and challenges I require. I’d never have become me without that “history.” If it weren’t for those rough times, I’d not have learned what I have, not have become what I am. The drive to heal led me to raw foods and my beauty routine, authoring my books, lecture tours and more. Truth is, I’m outright grateful for it all.

Would I, in my mid-sixties, be pursuing dancing with so much dedication and effort, if it were not for my past health hardships? I doubt it.

Every challenge we face, every setback, every hardship or sorrow, holds within it the potential for equal or greater benefit.

Our mothers plant the seeds from which our futures grow. But it’s up to us to make the most of it. If you succeed, you’ll accept your mother and you'll see all the positives within her. But if you don’t, you’ll never stop finding faults in her. You’ll keep blaming your mother for your shortcomings.

It comes down to this: Making peace with your mother is making peace with life itself.

You didn’t give me perfection, Mother. You gave me my life and you gave me my destiny. Whatever be my next small achievement, it won’t be perfect, either. But it will be my loving gift to you.

The mere fact that you wish for something means that it is (in some form) achievable. I know it. My dancing is happening against overwhelming odds. But it’s happening and that is all that matters.

Whatever you’re not satisfied with, you can improve. Especially, you can improve your health, your appearance, and your outlook on aging. Just start doing something—anything proactive—about it. One day at a time, and it will happen.

I'm feeling extra festive because Mother's Day is just around the corner! I want to celebrate it with deep gratitude: Thank you, Mom, for all you’ve done, all the sacrifices you’ve made, all you’ve endured. 

To show my gratitude to you, my reader, and to assist you in expressing appreciation to your mother on Mother's Day, here is our May offer: Get 20% OFF for orders of $100 or more!

Remember, great skin knows no age! Treat yourself and your mom to our skincare products today, and let's celebrate together!

Here is our May 3-day special: Spend $100 or more at our online Beauty Store by Wednesday night, 11:59 p.m. EST, May 8, 202 and get 20% OFF.